ATLANTA —
Week 4 of the college football season gave us everything short of a marching band fight in the parking lot. We got upsets, collapses, coaching seats that are basically barbecue grills now, and enough quarterback disasters to make the NFL scouts cancel their flights. If you like chaos, this was your weekend. If you like competent football, well, maybe you should have just gone apple picking.
Clemson is fried. Florida is in freefall. Wisconsin looks like it’s cosplaying as Iowa without the defense, and South Carolina is still trying to figure out if the “forward pass” is legal.
On the other side, Ole Miss, Texas Tech, and Miami strutted out of the weekend like they just stole something. And then there’s Penn State, sitting on the couch, undefeated, smug, and completely untested — like the kid who brags about his GPA but takes nothing harder than Intro to Yoga.
The fun part? We’re only four weeks into this circus, and already the sport feels like it’s leaning full Looney Tunes. Coaches are unraveling, quarterbacks are flopping, and the media keeps inventing hype machines that inevitably explode. It’s great theater, and it’s only getting messier.
So let’s quit pretending to be serious journalists and do what this sport really deserves: a winners and losers column. Grab your popcorn, pour a drink, and let’s hand out some fake trophies and public shaming.
Winners
Ole Miss
Lane Kiffin’s crew flattened Tulane, 45-10, and suddenly Ole Miss looks like that guy who shows up late to the party, kicks over the beer pong table, and takes everyone’s attention. The Rebels are undefeated, the offense is humming, and the defense looks like it can actually stop somebody. With LSU looming in Week 5, Ole Miss has a shot to prove it isn’t just a sideshow in the SEC. Until then, Kiffin is free to post as many trolling memes as his thumbs can handle.
Maryland
Maryland went into Madison and treated Wisconsin like a discount punching bag, winning 27-10 in a game that wasn’t even that close. The Terps looked faster, smarter, and tougher. Wisconsin looked like it just learned football yesterday. Luke Fickell was supposed to bring stability and toughness to the Badgers. Instead, he’s brought vibes that scream “we’d rather be ice fishing, or doing anything else.” Meanwhile, Maryland suddenly has juice in the Big Ten — and probably deserves more national attention than they’ll actually get.
Texas Tech
The Red Raiders didn’t just beat Utah; they humiliated them in a 34-10 smackdown. Utah fans probably left the stadium wondering if they accidentally showed up to a spring game. Texas Tech is 4-0, and while nobody’s confusing them for a playoff lock just yet, they’re building the kind of résumé that forces people to stop calling them “fun” and start calling them “dangerous.”
Miami
It wasn’t flashy, but beating Florida 26-7 in a rivalry game never needs to be. Miami fans get bragging rights again, and the Hurricanes look like they’ve got momentum for the first time in years. Mario Cristobal may have just bought himself a season of peace, while Florida fans are Googling “can we hire Urban Meyer again” and crying into their swamp water.
Memphis
If you’re looking for a sneaky win of the weekend, it’s Memphis. Down 18 points at Arkansas, the Tigers roared back for a 32-31 stunner. That’s not just an upset; that’s a program-defining victory. Memphis might not crack the playoff picture, but this is the kind of win boosters remember when they write checks in the future.
Penn State
Penn State didn’t even play, and that’s why they’re winners. The Nittany Lions are undefeated, sitting pretty, and coasting off cupcakes and bye weeks until Oregon comes to town in Week 5. They’re ranked like a top-three team despite playing a schedule softer than a hotel pillow. They could be really good, sure. But history tells us they’re probably Clemson 2.0 — fed on hype until the first big test breaks their teeth. Until then, James Franklin is living his best life and pretending his toughest opponent so far hasn’t been Villanova.
Losers
Clemson and Cade Klubnik
Cooked. Burnt. Charred. Whatever adjective you want, it applies. Clemson lost 34-21 to Syracuse, and Cade Klubnik looked like he was throwing with oven mitts on. The Tigers are 1-3, their worst start under Dabo Swinney, who is now publicly spiraling into cartoon villain territory. Swinney used to be college football’s golden boy. Now he’s a Looney Tunes character shaking his fist while anvils keep dropping on his head. Klubnik was supposed to be the guy — a Heisman sleeper, an NFL prospect. Instead, he’s another body on Clemson’s quarterback graveyard since Trevor Lawrence left. This program isn’t just down. It’s cooked.
Hey, at least they have the cool bus entrance to run down a hill, right?
Florida and Billy Napier
The Gators didn’t just lose to Miami. They got embarrassed. Billy Napier’s seat is hotter than a July sidewalk in Gainesville, and the schedule ahead looks like a slow-motion firing. Florida is 1-3, and the excuses are running thin. Yes, the SEC is brutal. Yes, the schedule is unfair. But this is Florida. Fans don’t want excuses. They want results. And right now, Napier looks like a man whose GPS is stuck on “scenic route to the unemployment line.”
South Carolina
The Gamecocks blew a lead to Missouri and now sit at 2-2 with no signs of life. Lanorris Sellers was billed as the future. Instead, he’s been hot garbage. Missouri spotted them every chance to win, and South Carolina still found a way to botch it. Shane Beamer’s program has become that team you only watch to see what kind of dumb mistake happens next.
Wisconsin and Luke Fickell
Remember when hiring Luke Fickell was supposed to save Wisconsin? Yeah, about that. The Badgers looked hopeless in a home loss to Maryland, a game that could have been uglier if Maryland hadn’t taken its foot off the gas. Fickell and Wisconsin go together like beer and toothpaste. It’s just wrong. The Badgers can’t throw, can’t tackle, and can’t win. Other than that, things are going great.
Quarterbacks Everywhere
It’s not just Klubnik. Across the board, quarterbacks are flopping. Remember all the preseason Heisman hype? Yeah, none of it has aged well. Half the supposed stars look lost, and the rest are barely hanging on. Passing games are sputtering, defenses are licking their chops, and NFL scouts are starting to polish up their résumés for basketball jobs.
Final Word
Week 4 was peak college football: dumb, chaotic, beautiful. Clemson is cooked, Florida is floundering, Wisconsin is wasting everyone’s time, and South Carolina is a comedy routine. Meanwhile, Ole Miss, Texas Tech, Miami, and Maryland are rising, Memphis had a moment, and Penn State is living the good life before its inevitable reality check.
The season is still young, but the storylines are already spiraling. And that’s why we love this sport — because every week is another chance for someone to be crowned a hero or shoved headfirst into the clown car.
Week 5 is loaded, but for now, let’s enjoy the wreckage of Week 4. After all, college football isn’t just about winning. It’s about laughing at the losers.
Check Out All EasySportz College Football Content Here!
Big 12 Power Rankings, Week 4!
